Rewriting the rules

And deciding to self-publish.

Deciding to self-publish fiction wasn’t easy. It took months of deliberation, doubt, and finding peace with a lot of uneasy questions.

Will it impact my chances of being traditionally published? What if it all goes wrong? What if I’m not good enough?

Now that I’ve done it a couple of times, and plan on doing it again, I can say that choosing to do so has been one of the most fulfilling things I’ve done as a writer.

Even though I’m still learning and consider myself a beginner, hopefully I can share some insight on why I chose to do it and offer some reassurance to anyone navigating the same uncertainties.

Rewriting the rules

One of the most common questions I see on writing subreddits or social media is about whether the manuscript they’ve written is long enough, short enough, or fits within a certain genre.

There may be lengths in the trad world that are the sweet spot for debut authors or sub-genres that are more marketable than others, but there’s something liberating about being a self-published writer because those rules don’t apply.

Waxwing Creek, my most recent release, is just over 34,000 words. The next project is around the same. When a story tells me it’s going to be a novella instead of a novel, I like that I get to listen to it.

That extends to the writing itself. There’s no pressure in trying to classify whether something is ‘horror enough’, or what subset of scary it belongs to. When I’m writing, I appreciate that those questions don’t make a lot of noise. Of course, knowing all of that helps you market your book once it’s published, but it’s not a driving force behind the narrative.

That’s not to say there isn’t value in how the trad world operates either. I used to work as a trends journalist, tracking cultural movements to try and predict the future, so appreciate the impact of patterns, trends, and knowing what’s next.

I just feel my writing is more authentic for not chasing it. Having no barriers or expectations is refreshing. Genuine. Self-publishing lets you twist the rules so they work with you rather than against you, and offers an opportunity to deliver a story as intended.

Collaboration, community, and pushing your craft

No doubt, there are amazing collaborations and a strong sense of community in the trad world, and I don’t want to dilute that, but it would feel remiss not to mention the collaborations I’ve had over the past few years as a self-published author.

Whether it’s manuscript swaps with other writers, conversations with cover artists, or a back and forth with book reviewers and readers knowing you were behind it all, being self-published has opened the door to so many interesting conversations and perspectives. These collaborations haven’t just introduced me to new stories and resources, but pushed my craft harder and made my writing better. That alone makes this all worth while.

I find it’s easy as a creative to get swept up in reaching the end. To be so focused on the final product that you forget to reflect on everything you did to get there. Really, it’s that process that matters most. That’s when you learn, challenge yourself, engage in new perspectives, and open yourself up to constructive criticism that lasts a lifetime.

In short, good conversation is food for the soul and two years of self-publishing has left me well-fed.

Saying yes to yourself

Before I self-published my first book, I’d been on a spree of sending queries. My evenings were filled with organizing email templates and spreadsheets, researching agents and small presses, firing off both that book and short stories in the hopes someone would say yes. That’s the only word I was looking for. Yes.

I had some replies, a few full manuscript requests, and a few short stories published, but they were fleeting, frantic positives in an avalanche of rejections and silence. I remember starting to feel unfulfilled. I didn’t like that I was spending so much time trying to appeal to what felt like gatekeepers of taste when I could have been doing what I actually wanted to do: write.

Writing is what I fell in love with. Writing is all I wanted to do, and there were weeks where I wasn’t doing it. It was somewhere in that flurry of rejections (and a yes that fell through) that I decided to self-publish.

I decided that I was tired of waiting for something that might not happen (and if it did, an uncertainty of how well it would work out). I was tired of telling myself that rejection is a normal part of a writer’s process. I wanted to see what saying yes to myself felt like. So I did.

Was it uncomfortable? At first. Unnatural? Absolutely. But at least it got me writing again.

But remember…

For all the great things listed here, self-publishing isn’t easy. There’s a lot of logistical and financial nuance that hasn’t been mentioned and unexpected roadblocks you run into.

A lot of times, it can be scary, overwhelming, and for all its collaborations, lonely. The learning curve is steep and, if you want to work with editors, cover editors, and everything else, it isn’t cheap. You’re also the decision-maker for everything. So while you can ask for opinions and thoughts, a lot comes down to trusting your instinct and going with your gut.

And then there’s imposter syndrome, always lurking; waiting in the shadows. Self-publishing has been a great experience in helping me tame it, but it’s a constant work in progress.

This month, I shared my first short story on Substack. It’s a way for me to get a story out there but, beyond that, it’s a personal exercise in letting go. In challenging myself to publish something that no one’s read but me. It’s nerve-wracking, but an interesting exercise in self-belief. We’ll see how that goes…

In closing

I’m not here to say that one route is better than the other. Whether you self-publish, traditionally publish, or settle on something in between, your decision is valid. Indie authors are no less talented or worthy than traditional authors and moving from self-published to traditional doesn’t make you a sell out.

I’ve read some incredibly bold and boundary-pushing ideas from self-published authors, small presses, and writers here on Substack, and read books from trad publishers that have stayed with me for years.

What matters most is that you pursue your ideas. That you create something from nothing. That you choose the path that makes you feel fulfilled.

Before you go

My latest book, Waxwing Creek, is out now. It’s a collection of interconnected horror stories about a haunted motel in a small town called Hunt. It’s available in paperback and on Kindle (including Kindle Unlimited).

Feel free to check out reviews on Goodreads or click the button below to grab a copy.

If you want to connect, I love hearing from readers. I keep an Instagram updated and post regularly to Threads and Notes. You can also find me on TikTok.

/ JJW